If you feel convinced that your partner may walk out on you someday, and yet feel helpless no matter what you do, perhaps you need to call the relationship off. Do you ever feel confined, manipulated, neglected or misused? In reality, you are probably not as helpless as you have come to think you are. Flawed. They have tried and failed and now they feel stuck, helpless and alone. in the sad/helpless pattern for a while they often say they do not feel.
Feeling Helpless | My Best Relationship
When there is more than one challenge to the individuals in a relationship at the same time, it may seem like the relationship is unable to be maintained. I have seen couples in severe stress, assuming that they are coming to me because the relationship is over.
In actuality, it is the background noise in their lives that makes it seem like things are falling over. One couple had nearly lost both mother and child in childbirth.
Is your relationship making you stressed?
The trigger that brought them to me was her discovery that he had been meeting a female work colleague for coffee at lunchtime, instead of ringing her. She now believed his loyalty was in question — he just felt he had to vent somewhere.
By the way, they survived! The magic formula to a happy marriage. At that point, couples often feel helpless and may believe it would be better to split up. Of course, if there is violence or abuse, it is absolutely correct to walk away.
But, aside from the above circumstances, relationship stress is mostly caused by a host of circumstances that, if addressed, can be alleviated. The situation is less complicated in traditional conflict that is triggered between partners. When your partner is the culprit of you feeling down or upset, he or she has the opportunity to address it directly.
Your partner has control over changing his or her behavior and talking through the problem with you.How to Be in a Relationship With Someone Suffering From Anxiety - by Jodi Aman
In these situations, there is most often not a straightforward answer to make the stress go away. You do not have the power to resolve what is directly upsetting your partner, and this indirectly upsets you.
When You Just Want to Help: Navigating Helplessness in Your Relationship
Reactions to feeling helpless vary, and identifying your automatic response to feeling helpless can help you regain control. One of the most common reactions is a scramble to find some way to help. We may offer advice or say to try something differently. Although well-intended, the other person is usually smart enough to have already thought through ways to handle the problem, and the implication that he or she has not might be interpreted as condescending.
Another common reaction to helplessness is anger, and this usually occurs when our initial efforts to help are rebuffed or unappreciated. Anger is an addictive emotion. It feels good because it makes you feel in control.
Your thinking becomes straightforward and simple: Obviously, this is not the healthiest strategy for a relationship. Anger is a secondary emotion, meaning it covers a more meaningful primary emotion, such as hurt or fear.