11 Ways To Make Your Long-Term Marriage Happier, Starting Today | HuffPost
The first and the foremost relation that human existence started off with was that of a husband and a wife. It is the strongest and the most long lasting relation as. How to Build a Good Relationship With Your Husband. Whether you've just gotten married or you're approaching a major anniversary, it is always a good time to. Your marriage is the most important relationship you'll ever have. when you start making your marriage a priority, you begin to develop a “we're in this Reading for just 10 minutes per day with your spouse will increase . Cooking & Entertaining · Quick & Easy Recipes · Healthy Recipes · Drink Recipes.
Practice honesty, even when you're ashamed. If you have maxed out a credit card or two and find yourself hiding the bills each month, you can bet it's going to come back to bite you.
Eventually, whether you're applying for a home loan or simply talking about the costs of summer vacation, these kinds of money issues will either be brought to light by a credit report or by the simple fact you can't afford a trip away. Although infidelity usually happens in bed, it also can happen with money.
And it will be a tough road gaining back your spouse's trust if you've lied about overspending. Along that same vein, if you feel you aren't connecting with your partner the way you used to, you need to say something -- now. I've learned this lesson the hard way. I once let communication issues fester for months on end, failing to verbalize my displeasure, and my husband and I wound up in marriage counseling for nearly a year. It took a third party -- and a real investment on our part -- to get us back on track.
If I had not kept telling myself that things would get better on their own, we might not have reached what I call the danger zone.
Take care of your appearance. With many years and a few kids under your belt, it's easy to let your appearance slide. Think about when you first met your partner.
Would you have walked around in stained sweatpants and without brushing your teeth? My guess is no. I'm not saying you have to look like Julianne Moore every time you settle in for a night of TV. Sometimes my husband will say "wow, you look nice" as I'm walking out the door for a girls' night out.
At least pay your spouse the same courtesy you do your friends by fixing yourself up for him or her every once in awhile. Foster relationships outside your marriage. I've been going on girls' trips for as long as I've been married. Yes, I love traipsing off with my spouse and three kids. But these weekends away with friends are also important. Swapping stories with others and enjoying new experiences make me -- I hope -- a more interesting person for my spouse to be around.
When Katie Couric asked Barbra Streisand the secret to her happy year marriage to James Brolin, she replied "time apart. Your marriage should be your primary relationship -- but it needn't be the only one. There are many things you should never say to a longtime spouse, the first being: It's also never a good idea to start a sentence with: We hopefully all have a pretty good sense of ourselves at this point and having someone you love point out a failing in this way does little to engender a loving relationship.
Neither of these is true. If you start a sentence with these words your mate is certain to shut down or start a fight.
Stop for a minute and think about what you really mean to say -- and then say that instead. Put away the jumper cables yourself. In life, there are big things and there are little things. The big things -- draining the bank accounts to support a gambling habit, forgetting to mention that he's in the federal witness relocation program living under a false identity or that he has a second family stashed in Queens -- are of course one-way streets to divorce court.
But most of us don't have problems of that magnitude. Most of us have problems that are more like petty and repeated annoyances, which when fed the steroids of resentment and anger, balloon up like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
How To Be A Better Husband: 10 Tips to Build a Strong Relation with Your Partner
And we all know what steroids did to his heartright? Most of our problems start out small enough -- he borrows the jumper cables from your car and then leaves them sitting in the driveway just waiting to get run over -- and from that sprouts a giant festering sore.
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It leads you to utter words like, "If you loved me you would have put the jumper cables back in my car so that when I get stuck in a bad neighborhood with a dead battery I could save myself," which, in my household, generally results in a reply like "When do you ever drive in bad neighborhoods? For a happier marriage, address them right away and keep it simple. Sometimes the best way to address a problem is to just walk away from it -- as in seriously let it go. Not every slight must be addressed.
Know that not every insult is intended. Practice letting go as much as you can. Bite your tongue until the tip bleeds. And once in a while, remind yourself of why you married this person. Focus on those reasons and let stuff pass without mention.
How To Be A Better Husband: 10 Tips to Build a Strong Relation with Your Partner
It's unfair to throw unresolved issues at one another — drop those sensitivities by avoiding hot button issues that you've already discussed and hopefully resolved. If you're still having trouble letting it go, consider journaling or talking to a counselor to prevent these bygones from weakening your marriage. Within the argument, establish a "take it back" code whenever either of you says something you don't truly mean.
Remind your husband that you love him and stay focused on finding a solution, which opens the door for a compromise. You both need to know when to apologize; love does mean saying "I'm sorry" sometimes. Here's advice for handling your first big fight. Make it an occasional treat to prep a new meal together. The sensory experience of cooking and co-creating a fabulous, romantic dish or snack is way better than popping some toaster tarts in the oven.
5 Ways to Build a Good Relationship With Your Husband - wikiHow
Have a sense of humor. Laugh off a joke and deliver one right back at your husband to show him that you're a carefree partner who doesn't make him nervous to kid around with. Know when to listen without offering advice. Sometimes, you or your partner just need to vent and spill out all the frustrations of the day. Since your husband loves you and wants you to feel better, he might give suggestions that can produce the opposite effect intended.
It's easy to turn your stress against him "Don't you think I already thought of that? Let him know when you just want to be heard and comforted — no crisis intervention necessary — and you've just created a strong tool in your marriage. Carve out quiet time. Make it a point to decompress each evening. Avoid following your spouse around like a puppy as soon as he gets home from work, telling him about your day or reminding him about things you need to do, like fix the washing machine or attend your niece's birthday party.
Your husband understands that you just miss him, but he might feel bad telling you to chill for a while and let him unwind. Be open and honest whenever you need some alone time, whether it's 15 minutes or an hour, and vice versa. Money is one of the top marriage stressors, especially in these challenging financial times.
Create a joint account for bills but also keep separate accounts for your own play money, and, of course, make sure you're both socking away some money in your savings to contribute towards shared future goals. Most importantly, be financially honest with one another, no matter what. No secret spending or hiding it from your spouse if you're having trouble paying a bill on time.
Speak well of each other. If you vent to your friends or family members about a fight you had with your husband, they may not forgive him, even after you've forgiven and forgotten. It's a betrayal to trash-talk your spouse to others, even if he made you really mad.
And his family and friends love it when you rave about his awesomeness, just as your loved ones will adore him for speaking highly of you all the time. Even if life is stressful, express your playful and silly side by suggesting or agreeing to participate in sports, video games, a round of mini golf, a night at the amusement park, or other spirited activities. Show this side of your personality often, and remind your spouse how much fun you are. Even if you're the worst darts player ever, laughing at your lack of skill instead of pouting or getting frustrated lets him see you in this adorable way.
Life is hectic, but if your partner asks you to look up something online or find a piece of paperwork for him, make it a high priority to do so as soon as humanly possible. When you show your spouse that his requests are important to you and you value his needs, that makes your partnership even stronger.
On the flip side, if either of you says, "I'll get to it in a few days I'm kind of busy now," that can cause hurt feelings. Of course, some requests can't be done now, and you may not be able to drop your important work to complete it, but don't make your husband wait for weeks. Just do it as soon as you can. It happens to everyone, and that ultra-bratty response may even be a surprise to you. Apologies can come a little bit later.