Best Facebook Statuses Quotes - Facebook Statuses
Are you looking for deep Facebook statuses that will get a lot of likes? Today's Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything. Post a Quote; Change your Relationship Status; Schedule your Facebook Status. Build your own fake facebook status online. Download image and prank your friends. One liners for your bio, social status, self-talk, motto, mantra, signs, posters, wallpapers, backgrounds, tattoos, SMS, Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Tumblr, Twitter, .. And if parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will.
Trenton Lee Stewart Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship. Margaret Mead My friends and family are my support system. They tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear and they are there for me in the good and bad times. Kelly Clarkson A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life.
Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father. Frank Abagnale Hugs can do great amounts of good — especially for children. Princess Diana The way you help heal the world is you start with your own family. Go to table of contents How do you rebel in a family of rebels? Margaret Laurence Our family is just a tent away from a full-blown circus. Unknown Families are messy.
Immortal families are eternally messy. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you. Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Normalcy is a lie invented by advertising agencies to make the rest of us feel inferior.
Calire LaZebnik Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not. People marry in, divorce out. Edward Furlong You call it chaos, we call it family. Unknown Click to tweet I mean, families are weird. Gordon Ramsay In every dispute between parent and child, both cannot be right, but they may be, and usually are, both wrong.
It is this situation which gives family life its peculiar hysterical charm. Isaac Rosenfeld People who come from dysfunctional families are not destined for a dysfunctional life. Bo Bennett No family is sane, is it?
Rebecca Hall Unfortunately, some family members are so psychotic that no matter how hard you try to forge a healthy relationship, nothing will help. You owe it to yourself to steer clear of people who are harmful to your health. Andrea Lavinthal See also: Lindsey Kelk All families are psychotic. Jamie Ford A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it. Even as a shadow, even as a dream. Euripides The song is ended but the melody lingers on.
Irving Berlin There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it. Alder Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. Sarah Dessen Sadly enough, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained. Winston Churchill I love you every day. If I knew I had a week to live, I would probably go to Ireland. And I'd want to see the Grand Canyon.
And the other two oceans. It would be a pretty busy week. Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it "guaranteed," I will.
I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, you might wanna think about buying a quality product from me. These things happen, ya know.
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You go for a walk in the park one day and wheel-chair ninjas and nazis and pots-and-pans robots show up to kill ya, and dinosaurs show up to eat the remains.
You've seen the news. Shakalu brought some crazy Zimbabwe weed that turns you into a deer. Now, I'm going to do something I like to call the "compliment sandwich," where I say something good, talk about where you need improvement, and then end with something good.
Please stop asking me what's on my mind. I'm gonna get myself in trouble if I keep spilling my guts to you. I stopped to smell the roses once. A bee flew out of the flower and up my nose, stung me in the nasal vestibule, and caused a severe allergic reaction and six days of swollen septum.
Now whenever I see roses, I keep walking. I feel like Neve Campbell in Scream 2. She thinks she can go off to college and be happy, but then the murderer comes back and starts killing off all of her friends. I learned a lot of lessons from that movie. This is just one of them. I once reported my roommate to INS. Turns out she's clean, but I'm glad I did it. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
When I discovered YouTube, I didn't work for five days. I watched Cookie Monster sing "Chocolate Rain" about a thousand times. If I were joking, you would be laughing.
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Do you look like you are laughing? I've never had champagne that tastes like cherry cola, but I know someone who wants to live like the ape man. Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower?
Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me—no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make. Security in this office is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch.
Can you imagine if I was deranged? Men In Tights I'm gonna grab one of those bulls over there and ride into town like a conquistador to challenge Hatcher to a duel, show him who the real tooth fairy is.
I just want everyone to know that I have gone another day without being stabbed repeatedly. I want to thank my friends who did not stab me repeatedly, the fans of the Not Being Stabbed Repeatedly page, the creator of the Not Being Stabbed Repeatedly page, and the many people who contributed to this cause by not stabbing me repeatedly.
Without you, I might have been stabbed repeatedly, of which I am not a fan. Of course, this status is much more effective if you are a Facebook fan of "Not Being Stabbed Repeatedly.
I was God once. It was going really well until everyone died. Blackmail is such an ugly word.
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Leela cracked corn, and I don't care. Fry cracked corn, I still don't care. Bender cracked corn, and he is great! Take that, you stupid corn! Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged.
It's been days since my last attempt to take over the world. I've been distracted by my current mission: I do not have the time to listen to you whine, you melodramatic fool. I don't want a large Farva! I want a goddamn liter-o'-cola!!
The whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life. Could you imagine if I went into work, did half of the job, then said, "Come back next week for the continuation!
How did you fit a lion in your pocket? No wonder it's ready to roar. First the earth cooled, then the dinosaurs came, and they all bought Benzes. Who is Pete and why is it for his sake? I danced with a squirrel in my car because I'm sexy, and I do what I want. If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer. Call the FBI and tell them I fell down a flight of stairs!
350 Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast
Oz, The Whole Nine Yards If my employer were more democratic than communist, they might allow us to vote on making Wednesday part of the "mid-week weekend" incentive program that I just made up.
I vote "aye," save me, Jebus! Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone? But sometimes when you get it back, it's horribly deformed and covered in an unusually smelly gelatinized mass that you can't identify. I'd pay a dollar and a half to see a tree museum.
The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese. My sarcasm only gets me in trouble when my brain-to-mouth filter is malfunctioning. Whenever I'm on fire, I remember to stop, drop, and roll, not run around screaming my head off. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius. Easy, guys, I put my pants on just like the rest of you—one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records.
Do sealions eat seazebras? Calling an engineer an applied scientist is like calling an artistic painter an applied pigment chemist.
The problem with reality is that there's no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil, or adventurous is about to happen. If the game doesn't freeze every six minutes, then you're not watching Fox. I had part of a slinky once. If you cooked any slower, you wouldn't need an egg timer; you'd need an egg calendar.
I am not crazy! At least, no more than any normal person should be. I mean, really, giving you a fruitcake for a present is just another way of saying, "I dislike you so much that I'm going to give you calories of jellied fruit and nut compacted into a brick and wrapped in plastic. I, on the other hand, am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. Name is trying not to think about penguins.
Good things are coming soon.
Stay tuned for more information after a few words from our sponsors. Name wants to go someplace warm where the beer flows like wine. Whisper down the lane is not as much fun on Facebook as it was when we used to sit in rows on the floor of the school gymnasium. You're so vain, you probably think this status is about you. I wish I was as smart as I think I am. The next time somebody texts me with "k," I'm going to tell them that they smell like a hippo.
And when they respond with "WTF?? Whoever says that pizza is not good for you is so wrong. The coaches must have it. The players must have it. The student body must have it. Bear Bryant Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure.
Attitude is the criterion for success. You need a winning attitude, honesty and integrity, and a burning desire to succeed.
Attitude Quotes That Will Help You Be More Positive
Dave Thomas Virtually nothing on earth can stop a person with a positive attitude who has his goals clearly in sight. Denis Waitley For success, attitude is equally as important as ability.
Walter Scott To succeed, we must first believe that we can. Michael Korda Winners never quit and quitters never win. Vince Lombardi Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. Vince Lombardi You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. Espouse new ideas, long for new things, constantly discovering new interests, escaping from boring routines. Engage life with enthusiasm; grasping life aggressively and squeezing from it every drop of excitement, satisfaction, and joy.
The person who approaches life with a child-like wonder is best prepared to defy the limitations of time, is more alive, more of a participant in life than the person who remains a spectator.Best Relationship WhatsApp Status-- Amazing Single Status & Quotes
Felix Baumgartner Peak performance begins with your taking complete responsibility for your life and everything that happens to you. Brian Tracy The next time you feel slightly uncomfortable with the pressure in your life, remember no pressure, no diamonds. Pressure is a part of success.