Loving your introverted or extroverted spouse - Focus on the Family
Do you know how to help your spouse rest, recharge and find the energy they need to live well . Married with kids: How to keep your relationship strong. How does marriage work when one of you is an introvert and one of you is they can still function well as a couple by being similar on an emotional level. While we're on this topic, let me give you some tips for success in. 3 Big Secrets Extroverts Who Married Introverts Need to Know, by Debra Fileta - Christian Marriage advice and help. Find biblical, helpful.
Seeing groups of people, attending parties and participating in major events recharges the batteries of the extrovert. This is exactly the opposite for the introvert.
It is therefore necessary that the introverted person has been able to prepare and charge his batteries before taking part in these things. On the other hand, it should not be assumed that introverts do not like people, or even that these people do not have good social skills.
Anyone who knows my wife knows she is infinitely better than me on this side! This is actually often a problem for several introverts, especially those who like to please others.
When Introverts Marry Extroverts
Since they seem so happy to see people and are so welcoming, you may not realize what they can live inside. For the less intimate relationships, this illusion is generally maintained. But not in a marriage! When the last guest has left the house following a sudden invitation, woe to the poor husband who has invited them without notifying his wife beforehand! Reject false perceptions For many couples, the first step towards greater harmony in their relationship is to sort out the truth from the lies about their own identity and perception of the other.
My friend Mark recently told me that it was only a good fifteen years after his marriage that he realized the great personality differences that existed between him and his wife, Lanette.
Up to this point he had maintained the false perception that they were not the "opposites" fascinated by each other as it often happens in couples.
When Introverts Marry Extroverts - OnlyYouForever
This, despite the fact that they react to most situations completely differently! Whether you are newlyweds or just about to celebrate your golden wedding, it may well be that you still have illusions about yourself and your spouse. But the more we put aside the unfounded thoughts about ourselves and our half, the more we will be able to come together to find a life strategy that allows everyone to recharge his batteries in the way that suits him best. This is not the easiest thing to do, since on many levels it quickly became obvious that it would be impossible to find a win-win solution.
Someone would have to deprive themselves so that the other person could benefit.
The most sensitive example for me is at the level of my persistent desire to want to speak immediately about everything that comes through my head. For me, any subject can easily turn into existential reflection. But now I realize that if I approach any subject without warning, I will place my wife under a yoke of pressure and guilt: It is cruel and selfish.
And I did it often. What I am trying to do now is to embody the spirit of love and humility manifested by Jesus and reported by the apostle Paul in the epistle to the Philippians: Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. On the other hand, when this principle of love and mutual preference is practiced reciprocally by both partners, it allows not only the existence of equity within the couple, but also the growth of sacrificial love by example of Jesus.
Celebrate your differences Unity is an enviable situation within every relationship, especially marriage, because no other relationship unites the mind, soul and body in a similar way. But although unity is strength, it must be remembered that this force does not depend on agreement at all points or similarity of opinion between the two parties. In fact, like two magnets, or two pieces of Velcro, it is the different qualities of the two parties that give them what they need to create a strong and lasting bond.
It is the same thing that happens when a man and woman, very different from each other, unite for life and choose to sacrifice their preferences in order to see each other grow and flourish according to the specific needs of his personality. They use their respective traits and forces to help the other in places where it is weak.
3 Big Secrets Extroverts Who Married Introverts Need to Know
They help the other when she feels vulnerable. And instead of distancing themselves from each other when a trial or frustration arises, their reaction is rather to say, "What can I do to help you overcome this challenge?
And the bond that unites them is strengthened. However, there was one interesting caveat. So having one spouse who is highly introverted and one who is highly extroverted could lead to emotional instability for the wife. Rather, it just requires that you step up your communication game. They looked at the common characteristics of marriages where one spouse was extroverted and the other introverted, and then marriages where they were the same.
Characteristics of households where the one spouse was extroverted and the other was introverted included: Close, intimate relationship with each other and family members Joint friends Same conflict resolution style as above Many shared leisure activities Frequent expressions of love Shared all decision making and money management So there were a couple of differences between similar and divergent couples: So how they handled these issues was clearly working for them.
Accept and appreciate your differences. You can choose how you see those differences: Or be dissatisfied with?
Commit to personally develop and grow. Couples who are different along this dimension can learn a lot from each other. Combine and play to your strengths: But these traits can change over time. A study from [vii]: To me, that seems to show that the introvert is learning to be more social.
Mind you, I adore my extroverted wife you are the gold standard for me: So we need to think about these things in a healthy way. The same study also found a positive correlation between extroversion and stress. So perhaps for introverts married to extroverts it is important to make them aware you are there for support, in order to buffer your spouse against stress. This might not come as naturally to you as it does to your extroverted spouse, but sometimes you need to remind them that they do belong, that they are appreciated, and that they matter not just to you but to a host of people.
I think this is necessary because extroverts are more likely to draw energy from their social network.