Originally Answered: My girlfriend suddenly says she needs space, but it doesn't mean a break up. What should I do? Relationships are really tricky, and there's. "I think that alone time is undervalued in our society," relationship therapist Aimee excel at sitting their partner down and saying, "You're awesome, you're great, I love you, but I just need more space than you're giving me.". The Dating Nerd explains what she really means by "I need space" - and My relationship is amazing — we spend a ton of time together and make But, really : She probably says she needs some time alone because she's.
There is no way to arrive at a place where you never irritate your partner. Unfortunately, people are complex, and governed by emotions with no particular logic.
How To React When Your Girlfriend Wants Space
Nobody you ever date, ever, will have infinite reserves of patience for you. So, your girlfriend tells you she needs some time alone.
Well, actually, yes, it is slightly possible, unfortunately. This can happen at any time.
In fact, it can especially happen when things are really great, so great that you and your girlfriend are clinging to each other all the time and accidentally run out of emotional oxygen. A few years ago, I took my girlfriend on a beautiful trip to Colombia. We escaped the dead of winter and went to a hot place with fresh seafood where we could wear very little clothing.
What It Means When Someone Says They Need Space
And when we checked into our hotel we were giddy with happiness. Conversation stuttered into awkward pauses. I could tell something was wrong. But that was weird, because nothing was wrong, right? Well, that was exactly the problem — we were in paradise, completely alone together, but she felt so much pressure to be happy that she became unhappy immediately. Which is something we can all relate to, right? The problem was exacerbated by the fact that we had nobody else to hang out with.
So we decided to take a couple of days to wander through the city apart from each other. That relieved the pressure immediately. Afterwards, our relationship resumed its very high normal quality.
So just take a couple of days off, text her intermittently, and take her out for dinner after your little break. Enjoy a couple of days of solitude.
What She Means When She Says She Needs Space - AskMen
Think you could use some dating help, too? Of course you can't stop her, so you have to respect the decision. Let her have the space that she needs if that is what she wants. You shouldn't demean yourself by begging, because she isn't going to change her mind. Let her do what she needs to do, but don't agree that it's for the best. If you do, you enter a very vague no man's land where the relationship becomes very difficult to define.
If you stand firm in opposition to the idea it becomes much easier. Since you are fully committed it is her decision to leave and her decision to come back or not. This puts the onus on her to make a decision, rather than leave things in murky territory. Set The Rules Is she asking for space, is she asking for a break or is she just trying to break things off slowly?
Space generally means that you stay together but just spend less time together and contact each other less frequently. A break may mean seeing other people and not seeing each other at all.
Make sure you have a conversation to set the rules. Let her take the lead. If she wants to keep things as they are but just not see you for a while this is a good sign. She probably needs a genuine breather and will probably come back.
If she wants to see other people then this is a break that is one the road to break up. But you need to be careful. Hopefully she is frank and honest about what she needs from the relationship and she sticks to her word. But make sure she isn't taking you for a ride by telling you half truths. If she tells you that she wants space, and in her mind this means seeing other people that needs to be clear and upfront.
Make sure she isn't sleeping around while you are stuck on her hook, chastely waiting for her to come back when she has no intention of it.
If she refused to have that conversation and things are in limbo then you might be on the hook. You might be waiting for her to come back while she has mentally checked out. This is a really tricky situation because you can't always talk to her to figure it out because she might not want to. Even if you do talk she probably isn't going to make much logical sense and might be quite emotional.
The best thing to do is just wait patiently and see if she makes contact with you. If she is genuinely interested in continuing the relationship she won't make you wait too long. After a couple of weeks she should start making moves to normalize things. Yet once it goes over a month with no contact, you might have to consider that this desire for space was really a desire to end the relationship. Consider Breaking It Off Yourself Maybe right from the start you sense that she isn't really interested in space.
Perhaps it's clear that she just doesn't have the courage to actually pull the break up trigger. In that case you can save yourself a lot of stress and crap by just making the call yourself. It can be very empowering to say, "I'm not going to take any of your games," and turn things around on her. It will take her by surprise for sure since she then concedes the position of power to you.
However maybe you gave her the benefit of the doubt at the start and respected her need for space.