How to have a better relationship with money
Relationships with money can be complicated. Most of us worry about our finances, but on the spectrum of money worriers, some people ignore. It may sound strange to think about having an 'emotional relationship' with something as practical as money, but it can actually be a highly effective way of. Money and relationships—can the two ever exist in harmony? Yes! Learn how to get on the same page as your spouse and avoid these seven money mistakes.
When I was 18, I bought a brand new car. The reality is that I probably looked really dumb! And, I had a job that only paid a few dollars over minimum wage.
What was I thinking?! I no longer think debt should be normal. I thought that since almost everyone seemed to have student loans, that it would be fine if I did too.
So, I took out a lot in student loans instead of using the full-time job I had to help pay for tuition, which probably would have been a much better use than that car. However, who cares how much debt another person has?
From Resentment to Riches: The Keys to Transforming Your Relationship With Money
How exactly does knowing what the average amount of debt a random person has affect you? Is that person you? That makes no sense! I don't let money control me. I'm still not entirely perfect in this area, as I still save like crazy in fear of a rainy day. However, I don't let money control me as much as it used to. Before, money controlled my life to the point that I would think about it before even thinking about my health. If I would have just learned how to manage my money better, I wouldn't have let money control my life as much as it did.
I would obsess about money to the point that I didn't actually enjoy life. I kept thinking about what bad things could happen, comparing myself to others, and more, instead of just enjoying life. I've learned that life is about much more than just money. One thing that goes along with everything else above, is that I have learned that life isn't all about money. When I was younger, I had dreams of making lots of money, living in a big house, and having nice cars.
Now, I really don't care about any of that. As long as I am financially independent, I am happy, but there is more to life than just money. For me, I am happy traveling to new places, being able to spend time with family and friends, personally growing, trying new things, and so on. Now, I am much more interested in experiencing life. This doesn't mean you should throw everything I've taught you about money here on Making Sense of Cents out the door.
It's all about having a healthy balance. And that's what I'm always working towards. How has your relationship with money changed over the years? In contrast to the above statements, what were you told as a child about money? Many of my clients answer with things like this: There is a long list of negative money beliefs and stories people use to keep themselves away from wealth. Many people have been taught things like: And those programs are made up of your most frequent thoughts and most tightly held beliefs.
The unconscious mind is not logical.
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In fact, your mind will not allow you to deviate from the programs you hold in your unconscious. It will do whatever it takes to prove these unconscious programs about money to be true. Whenever things are going well for them, it seems as though they manage to screw it up. This is always caused by beliefs in the unconscious mind that will not allow them to succeed. All I do is have them reprogram the limiting beliefs and suddenly their life dramatically changes for the better.
For example, I have a friend who was good at creating money, but somehow would always sabotage his efforts to create lasting wealth by finding ways to get rid of his money almost as quickly as he made it.
Rich people get heart attacks! Within a few months his business went into overdrive, and just over a year later he had created a brand new career for himself and was living the life of his dreams.
Just becoming conscious of your old programs around money is often enough to take away their power and bring about a happier relationship with money. And if you give up the love of your family for a few dollars more, your life will only become poorer. There is, however, one sacrifice you will need to make to strengthen your relationship with money—you will need to give up your resentment of people who have more money than you!
When I began on my own journey to wealth, I believed among other things that: If you dislike people with money, it will be difficult to become one of them.
Once I became aware of how much I resented people with money, I became aware of how much that resentment was holding me back in my own pursuit of wealth. I knew I had to change the pattern—to reprogram my automatic, unconscious reaction to people who have money. As the saying goes, hanging onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!
At first, I used a simple system of substitution.
Anytime I noticed myself grumbling inside my head at the success or wealth of someone else, I would immediately replace that thought with a positive one wishing that person well. It felt strange at first, but each time I did it, I noticed I felt a little bit better inside myself. Then, I learned a technique that enabled me to make even more dramatic changes more quickly. Here is what I learned, exactly the way that I practice it to this day… From Resentment to Riches Be sure to read through all the instructions before you begin… 1.
Think about someone whose success or wealth you have been resenting.
7 Ways My Relationship With Money Has Changed
Create an image in your mind of what they look like. What color is their hair? What clothes are they wearing? What expression do they have on their face? Now, think about yourself being exactly the way you most want to be—living life on your own terms with the financial assets to do what you really want to be doing.
How do you stand, smile, and speak? How happy and confident do you look? Shrink down that picture of your rich self so that it fits in one small corner of the picture of the person you have been resenting. Now, switch the pictures as fast as you can! As the picture of the person you have been resenting shrinks down into the corner, expand the picture of your rich self until it fills the screen.
Make sure the expanded picture of your rich self is big, bright, and bold! Take a moment to clear your mind, then repeat the process at least five times. Make the switch faster and faster each time you do it. Several years ago, there was a study conducted into happiness and comparative wealth, which was quite revealing. Participants were asked to choose between two scenarios.
What do you suppose people chose? This is poor thinking in its most insidious form—using money as a measure of personal value, status, or worth—and sabotages a pleasant relationship with money. This is one of the absolute keys to rich thinking: The more comfortable you become with the wealth of others, the faster your own wealth will grow.
Think about someone you believe is struggling financially and imagine them wealthy and successful. Think about someone you believe is already doing well and imagine them becoming even more wealthy and successful.
The Keys to Transforming Your Relationship With Money
Imagine what the world would be like if there was no poverty and everyone had more than enough to live life on their own terms. How do you feel about living in that world? How do you feel about yourself?The 8 principles of transforming your relationship with money - Thuli Sithole - TEDxLytteltonWomen
The more often you repeat this exercise, the faster your relationship with money will change and the faster your wealth will grow. It is published by Hay House and available in bookstores and online at hayhouse.