The Coach/Coachee Relationshop | Your Leadership Unleashed
The saying 'Relationships are the container everything else fits into' certainly applies to a coach and coachee relationship. Fundamentally, trust. As coach it is your responsibility to ensure that there is a common The foundation of trust in the coaching relationship is that the coachee has a rock solid belief. Trust is the fundamental quality of a successful coaching relationship. be an effective coaching relationship because the brain of the coachee will literally lose .
Steven Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People confirms it is key to be interested in the other person rather than trying to be interesting yourself.
Why Trust is Essential to the Work of Coaches
Once we understand the other person, we can start to respect why they act the way they do and also to respect those things that they do well. There may be conflict as they have different values, working styles and personality traits. However, as these are understood we can look past them and see the bigger picture. Often the people who are very different from us, the ones we find hardest to work with, are the ones that we complement best.
Their skills and strengths will underpin our weaknesses and vice versa. Respect usually leads to liking, and liking — on further acquaintance — can lead to trust. Of course, it can be argued that you do not have to like someone in order to trust them, but it certainly helps. Trust is the essential ingredient of any good coaching relationship — without it, the client is not going to tell you, the coach, those confidential things that may be necessary to allow you to be of real help.
Equally, if they are leading a team, a family or working with their boss or customers, they will need trust relationships in order to succeed. Freedom Takes Many Forms The question of freedom is often explored.
The healthiest and happiest relationships are those where both partners give each other freedom to enjoy life apart from each other. It is important to have friends and activities that each can enjoy on their own. Freedom in a relationship is allowing each other to keep a sense of self.
There is a huge difference between thinking for two and thinking as two. Time for reflection and just being alone is good for healthy relationships.
Building Trust | International Association of Coaching
It gives you time to think things through and make changes, and to dream and plan for the future. This is just as relevant in a business relationship, where the level of empowerment you give or receive is significant. Here is an example: Two current director-level coachees have both been empowered by the same CEO.
One has a meeting with the CEO once a month and is left to his own devices to manage his business, lead his team and make strategic decisions.
Start With Trust When Coaching
The other is new to the role and within the vital first hundred days of a new role. He has meetings with the CEO each week, they jointly agree strategy and direction, and the director feels totally supported. The CEO supports him in understanding the political environment and the key stakeholder relationships that will be fruitful.
Here we see different levels of freedom and empowerment as appropriate. Have you asked anyone what freedom means to them? Friendship from Support Many successful relationships start with people being friends and colleagues, and develop from there. Lasting relationships are built on two people who are best friends and closely linked to friendship is support.
Support means helping each other out and sharing responsibilities. In short, it is about thinking about the other person as well as yourself. Ask yourself what objections they might have to what you would like to do?
And then take their feelings into account. Many people think that once a successful relationship has been established, then all the hard work is over and it will just take care of itself. Working at it simply means putting effort into the relationship to keep each other happy. How are they sitting? If they are leaning in, you do the same. Are they being active using their hands?Building Trust In A Coaching Relationship
Then use your hands as well. This technique, when naturally delivered, helps put the coachee at ease. Be focused on the person. Meet in a place that is quiet and has no distractions.
Turn off your PDA, tablet, phone etc. Make it easy on yourself to focus. If you need to take some notes, make them brief and use pen and paper. Use appropriate eye contact. Focusing intently on them shows you care and will increase rapport.
Why does this person feel this way? What can I do to make the situation better? When you acknowledge and understand where they are coming from you build trust and people will perceive you as real and relatable.
If a leader can demonstrate true empathy to an individual, it will go a long way toward encouraging the person to perform at his best. Simply put, empathy starts with giving others the benefit of the doubt. Empathy makes us more flexible and compassionate.