Compatibility and Chemistry in Relationships | Mark Manson
If you're feeling unsure about whether or not you feel that chemical connection with someone, hundreds (and I mean hundreds) of people took. Everyone talks about chemistry as that magic ingredient we all need in a relationship but can't quite quantify. We use words like attraction, connection, knowing. I said, "I want to study chemistry, which is the natural connection between two people. Do you know what I mean?" Her response, "Oh sure, you just have it with .
Lifestyle Chemistry is what we say that two people have that creates a strong romantic connection between them, and there are 4 elements of chemistry that indicate the strength of your bond.
You and your partner might have zero, some, or all four of these elements of romantic chemistry when you are together. Romantic chemistry is more than just a sexual attraction to your partner, although things may have certainly started out that way when you first saw each other.
What we think and say that we want in a romantic partner is different from what we actually end up choosing. This has been shown in speed dating study conducted by Northwestern University where participants were asked what they were looking for prior to the dating sessions on levels of physical attractiveness and income potential. However, the actual preferences for partners after the speed-dating event showed that people were not able to identify why they chose certain potential romantic partners over others.
You want to be close, and you spend a lot of intimate time together.
Looking into each others eyes, you know that your partner desires you and enjoys the physical closeness that you share. It is difficult to have excellent physical chemistry without also having emotional feelings of love or caring for your partner as well. Physical chemistry may seem more sexual, but it is also a sign of emotional romantic chemistry. Trust for each other is important to physical chemistry.
Emotional romantic chemistry Your partner feels supported emotionally and so do you when you have emotional romantic chemistry. And it will be.
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Specific examples of what creates strong chemistry are harder to peg. It may be the way someone laughs at your jokes, the questions they ask you about your day, the way you hold each other in bed, or how they help you decorate your new apartment. Chemistry is made up of subtle behaviors and dispositions that positively correspond with the other person.
Chemistry is felt immediately and by both parties equally. You almost become empaths for one another. A girl who is high-strung, energetic and slightly neurotic will have a high degree of chemistry with a guy who is relaxed, mellow and open. Introverts usually have natural chemistry with extroverts.
People who are orderly and intense planners often work best with people who are spontaneous and unorganized. A lack of chemistry simply results in a lack of emotional intensity. Things just feel kind of dead and boring when you are together. Chemistry is also reflected in the bedroom.
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A lack of chemistry will mean boring, emotionless sex. A high degree of chemistry will mean intense, life-altering, heart-pounding sex that causes your mind to cosmically splatter itself on the walls of your consciousness. A relationship with high compatibility but little chemistry is likely to be a boring yet convenient series of meetings and conversations, dry and dull until both parties simply stop caring and drift apart, or they consummate their mutual convenience by getting married and promise themselves a lifetime of simple and asexual companionship.
Chemistry without compatibility on the other hand, usually leads to disaster. Sometimes it can be as simple as not living in the same part of the world. Your behavior becomes completely irrational. High levels of chemistry with major incompatibilities is bad news.Dating & Relationship Vocabulary, Expressions, Slang words & more – English speaking Lesson
These relationships usually begin quickly and passionately, exploding like a flaming geyser, which then extinguishes just as quickly as it began. Reality makes itself known. And you suddenly realize how fucking offensive you find each other.
Compatibility and Chemistry in Relationships
And getting out is easier said than done. Your heart says yes, but your head says no.
And then you convince your head to say yes, which in turn makes your heart say no. And then there you are wherever you go, as they sayand you find yourself jobless with two one-way tickets to Bermuda that were never used, six stitches, slashed car tires and a shattered cell phone.
But at least that psycho is fucking gone even though you still kinda miss them.