Learn How to Make Friends As An Adult Using These 5 Steps
I've noticed people who are already good at making friends naturally tend to do Sometimes you're at a point where you need to meet entirely new people. Other great ways to take classes in things to learn for fun such as an improvisational They too have a ton of activities you can sign up for and meet people. The friends that you need will find their way into your life when it's time, believe it. It's ideal for making first contact with your new neighbors, plus you can keep on top of It's ideal if you want new people but not more romance.
By extending yourself just a little, you might meet some wonderful new friends within a short walk of your home. Wherever you happen to be — in line at the post office, at the grocery store, or at a concert, start a conversation with someone around you.
Have a few conversation starters handy so you always have something to say to kick off a conversation. Yes, this might be uncomfortable at first, but if the other person is friendly and responsive, it might be the beginning of an interesting connection. Ron and I have a beautiful white collie named Scotch. He's unusual because he's white collies are usually black and tanand he really is a handsome guy. When we take him on a walk, we get stopped by nearly everyone we pass. Taking your dog for a walk gives people a reason to stop and talk to you.
Other dogs will be naturally curious and drag their owners over to say hello in doggie language. If there's a dog park in your community, take a ball or frisbee and have an outing with your pet. The odds are good you'll meet a fellow dog lover. Sit at community tables. Find restaurants that have community dinner tables or bar tables. Rather than isolating yourself at a two-top, sit at the community table and get to know the people seated nearby. Reach out on Facebook or other social media.
I reached out to a few and have met up for coffee. Through Facebook, you may discover some old friends or acquaintances that you didn't know lived nearby. Host your own casual dinner party or open house and invite your neighbors, people from work, or acquaintances you've bumped into along the way. Invite them to bring a friend along so you expand your potential circle of new connections.
You don't have to do anything elaborate. Make a pot of soup or order a few pizzas. The point is to simply bring people together and expand your circles. Find a business association. Are there groups or associations related to your career? Research local business events and attend them so you can network professionally and personally.
Go to a cultural event. Become an annual member of the symphony, local theater, or ballet. Attend the performances as well as the fundraising and member events. Strike up conversations with other attendees who are there because they appreciate the arts just like you.
If you prefer visual art, visit your local galleries, talk with the owners or managers, and discuss the art with other guests. One of the best ways to meet people is in a class at the gym. But if classes aren't your thing, spend time in the weight room when it's busy so you can converse with other gym rats. If there's a cafe or juice bar at your gym, hang out for a bit after your workout and connect with other members. If you have a couple of friends or acquaintances who have a larger circle of friends, ask them to introduce you to new people.
If you've moved to a new city like I have, maybe your existing friends know people in your new city. Ask them to make an email connection and then follow up yourself to suggest a get-together. Participate in Toastmasters or another speaking club. Public speaking isn't fun for most people, but when you're thrown in a setting where everyone shares the same fears and learning curve, it can quickly break the ice. Speaking clubs not only give you the confidence to make presentations, but they also give you the chance to meet a variety of new and interesting people.
Go on a wine or beer tour. I live in a city with dozens of local breweries, and brew tours are common occurrences here. If you have wineries nearby or even restaurants that offer wine tastings, join in the fun and meet other connoisseurs. Beer, wine, and socializing always seem to pair well together. Take a dance class. Ballroom dancing is a great way to get up close and personal with potential new friends or romantic partners.
But you don't have to stick with ballroom dance. Take a jazz class, Zumba, or Salsa dancing. It's great exercise, and you'll meet fun people who enjoy kicking up their heels. Find a church or religious community. If you're a spiritual person or have a strong faith, your church, synagogue or other religious community is the perfect place to meet supportive, like-minded friends.
Go to seminars, book signings, or speaking events. Look in your local community guide to see what happenings and events are coming up in your area.
Attend some of these events and try to sit next to someone who might be looking for a new friend too. Hang out at a jazz or music club. Do you enjoy jazz or some other music genre that works well in a smaller venue and allows for conversation? Find a cool, low key club where you can listen to great music and start up an interesting conversation. Take your book or computer to a coffee house. When I start to feel house-bound working from home, I go to a local Starbucks or indie coffee house to work.
It's easy to keep your head down in your computer or book, but look up every now and then and survey the landscape. Strike up a conversation with the person at the table next to you. You never know who you might meet. Hang out at the local museum. Get thee to a museum!
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Do you like art? Most cities have one or several museums devoted to something that interests you. You'll have no shortage of things to talk about if you chat it up with another museum-goer. Take an art class or any class.
Taking a class automatically throws you into a group of like-minded people. Try to enroll in a more hands-on class rather than a lecture course, which will allow you to talk with other students. Some kind of art class generally allows for more conversation. Make a point to introduce yourself to other students and initiate conversation with those around you. I've noticed people who are already good at making friends naturally tend to do most of the things I outline below. Bare bones guide on how to make friends Here are the basic steps to making friends.
It seems simplistic, but there can be a lot to each point. People who struggle with their social lives often stumble on one or more of them as well.
Find some potential friends To make friends you first have to find some possible candidates. There are two main ways to do this: Draw on your current contacts This won't apply to people who have just moved to a new area and don't know anyone, but often you'll already have the seeds of a social life around you. You don't necessarily have to go out and meet ten strangers to have one.
It's often easier to turn existing contacts into full-fledged friends than it is to meet new ones. There are probably a handful of people you already know who could end up becoming part of a new social circle. I'm talking about people like: Acquaintances you're friendly with when you run into each other, but who you never see otherwise.
People at work or in your classes who you get along with. Friends of people you know who you've gotten along with in the past. Someone who has shown an interest in being your friend but you never really took up the offer.
People you very occasionally hang out with, who you could see more often. Friends you've gradually lost contact with who you could get back in touch with. For some people, cousins who are close to your age. Meet some new people Getting more out of your current relationships can go a long way, but it doesn't always work. Sometimes you're at a point where you need to meet entirely new people.
Not having easy access to potential new friends is a big barrier for many people in creating a social circle. I go into more detail here: Get into hobbies or communities where you'll naturally meet a lot of people you already have something in common with. Even better if it involves an activity that facilitates conversation. Meet people through school or your job. You'll see the same faces day after day, and can get to know them in a more gradual, low-pressure way.
Meet one or two people you click with, and then get to know their friends.
How to Make Friends And Get a Social Life
If you hang out with fifteen people, you shouldn't have to have met them all individually. Overall, meeting new people may require making an effort to pull out of your day-to-day routine. If most of your hobbies are solitary you might also need to add some more people-oriented ones to the mix.
Also, the easiest way to naturally meet a lot of people is just to live a full, interesting life and run into lots of potential friends as a side effect. Once you're in a situation with some prospective friends around, you need to strike up conversations and try to get to know them. You won't form a connection with everyone you interact with, but if you chat to enough people you'll find you like and get along pretty well with some of them.
30 Ways To Meet New People
Once you've done that you could say you're now at the Friendly Acquaintance stage, or that they're context-specific contacts e. If you have trouble with successfully meeting, chatting to, and getting to know people, you may want to check out the site's sections on shyness, fears, and insecurity and on making conversation.
Invite potential friends to do something with you Once you've met those people you seem to be clicking with, ask them to hang out and do something outside of the situation you met them in. This is the most important step in my experience. You can meet all the people you want, and they can think you're great, but if you don't take any actions to do something with them in the future, then you won't form many new relationships.
People will stay as the guy you talk to in class, or the girl you chat to at work in the break room. This seems basic, but lonelier people often hit a wall here. There may be someone they joke around with at work, or chat to in one of their classes, but they won't take the step of inviting them out and taking the relationship to the next level, and beyond the acquaintance stage.
If you're on the shyer side, you might be a little hesitant to invite people out. While it is a little scary at first, and there is some risk of rejection, it's fairly easy to get used to.
It's not nearly as bad as asking someone out on a date, for example. Depending on how you met them, you may invite someone to hang out fairly quickly or wait a few weeks. For example, if a friend brings one of their buddies along to have drinks with you one day, and you spent four hours together and hit it off from the start, you may be totally comfortable asking them to hang out again right away.
On the other hand, if you seem to mesh with someone at your job, but can only have short conversations with them here and there, it may be a month before you feel ready to invite them out. If you're not sure how to ask someone to do something with you, you could check out this article: You may meet someone interesting, but you can never assume you're going to see them around again anytime soon.
Ask for their phone number or email address, or see if they're on whatever social networks are big in your area. That way if an opportunity to get together comes up, they'll be easy to reach.
Also, if they have your info, then they can get a hold of you if they want to invite you to something. Have a basic grasp of how to make plans To hang out with someone you've got to plan it. Sometimes the process is straightforward. You ask them if they want do something, they agree, and you set a time and place. At other times trying to nail down a plan can be tedious and unpredictable, especially when more than one other person is involved.
It helps to accept that this is just an area where there's always going to be an amount of uncertainty, and you can't control everything. If inviting people out and arranging plans all seems like a big hassle, it also probably feels that way for everyone else at times. They shouldn't always have to step up and organize things for you.
Do some of the lifting yourself when you need to. Advice On Making Plans With People Lean toward accepting invitations Of course, making your own plans is important, but if someone asks you to hang out, even better.
If you get invited to do something, strongly consider going. I won't tell you have to force yourself to say 'yes' to absolutely everything. Like if you're certain you'll dislike an activity, or it's way outside your comfort zone, or that's the only time you have to study for a big exam, it's okay to decline.
However, if you're only a little unsure, give it a chance. Why turn down a free chance to get out there with people? When you've got more friends and different options competing for your time you can be more choosy. If you're more of a shy or solitary person it's easy to mull over an invite and rationalize that it won't be that fun and that you shouldn't go. Try to push past those thoughts and go anyway.
You often can't be sure how enjoyable something will be until you show up and see for yourself. Sometimes you'll have to inconvenience yourself for the sake of your social life.
Learn How to Make Friends As An Adult Using These 5 Steps
You may get invited to a movie you only half want to see, or someone might call you up on Friday evening as you're about to go to bed, asking if you want to go out. Whenever you have two or more people in the equation, you're going to have to compromise sometimes. Again, just being out there outweighs these minor annoyances. Another thing to consider is that many people will stop inviting someone out to things if they decline too often. They may have nothing against the person, but the next time they're planning an event will think, "Paul never comes out when I ask him, so no point in letting him know this time really.
Once you've got some budding friendships, keep in touch, keep hanging out, and let the relationship grow It's one thing to hang out with someone once, or only occasionally. You could consider them a friend of sorts at that point. For that particular person maybe that's all you need in a relationship with them, someone you're casually friendly with and who you see every now and then.
However, for someone to become a closer, more regular friend you need hang out fairly often, keep in touch, enjoy good times together, and get to know each other on a deeper level. You won't have the compatibility to do this with everyone, but over time you should be able to build a tighter relationship with some of the people you meet.
I talk about developing friendships way more in this article: How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships Once you know some people, build on this foundation Once you've made a regular friend or two you've also got a good base to work from. If you're not super social in nature, one or two good buddies may be all you need to be happy. At the very least, if you were feeling lonely and desperate before, having a relationship or two should be enough to take those feelings away.
Sooner or later you'll end up meeting your friend's friends. If you hit it off with them then you can start hanging out with them as well. You could also become a member of the whole group with time. You can also continue to meet entirely new people.
Having friends will make this easier as they'll do things like invite you to parties or keep you company in places where there are new people to potentially meet.